Dear Blog,
I hope things are fine despite the fact that we don't talk so much these days. Life is great in Miami, fantastic even, although slightly confusing I must admit. Having placed one foot back in "normality" (hanging with friends, working, dining out, running on meetings, socializing, driving from one place to another, more projects, shopping, working out, puzzling life's all equations at once) - and another foot left in the boat world as Alex and I still live on the boat and
row ourselves to land when needed. Although we haven't decided place or time for moving back onto land, we're definitely going through some sort of separation period that lingers in the air, and which carries feelings hard to pronounce.
One side of me will always be
left at sea, yearning for the quietness and peace one can only find when away from all this materialism and commercialism. The simple life that Alex and I built together, the life we know best, as a team. Another side of me (as well as Alex) knows how important it is to build a security for the future, not least for being able to sponsor the adventures and travels one wish to head out onto later, whatever/wherever they might be. There are many emotions involved in this transition. Earlier, on other stops, we always knew we wouldn't be permanently fixed to a place and we could take the boat and leave whenever we wanted to. This time, we have signed up for obligations and plans that stretch not over a few months or small projects, but for many years. And even if those plans are 100% voluntarily chosen by ourselves, things we've been dreaming of for such a long time, it is still somewhat sad and confusing, having to realize that we eventually will have to let go of the life,
our life, that we've built on water. The simple, uncomplicated, natural lifestyle that we both love deeply and do so well together.
There has been loose thoughts and many options discussed for this new land based life - staying at anchor? renting an apartment? selling the boat? living in a marina? keeping the boat but living on land? and even separating has come up at a few weak moments.
It is hard to explain. The overly positive and optimistic feeling about the future for our individual careers here in Miami/USA. The ecstatic excitement and anticipation of coming back to achieving something, creating something profound, back to properly working with the things we truly love. The impatient feeling of hope and motivation is probably something anyone would build up over many long years of traveling. But it doesn't mean it is automatically easy to let go of the rest. It is not automatically adjusted and it takes some time and plenty of effort to adapt. Especially since all we've ever done together has been built around a boat on water.
Other than that, dear blog, life is beautiful. Colourful, exciting, many things moving forward as they should and days filled with as much or as little communication with other human beings as one chooses. All those things one have missed so much while traveling on the boat. So for any challenging obstacle, there is always something positive in return. It's just about finding a new groove and then flow with it. Still fumbling for that perfect groove.
xoxo