Slowly but surely I'm realizing what fundamental changes this journey has made to my mind and my persona. Physically and geographically we haven't come that far as yet and we've been locked up with schedules, deadlines and/or work ever since we left Barcelona for a bit more than one year ago. I haven't had the time nor peace to reflect from the inside in the way that I wanted, yet I have came to many smaller conclusions and discovered many truths that are profoundly important for the future. I have made a few smaller steps towards the inner me, which was the main purpose of this journey after all. You know the person that you are deep inside of yourself when you are completely naked with no external/social influences and you are as stripped from other peoples opinion on everything that surrounds us, as possible. I don't think we can ever completely be our true selves as we're already affected by so many deeply ingrained patterns of thinking, events that has shaped us and by the outer worlds propaganda and thoughts regarding everything there is to have a thought about, but I do think it is important, at least for myself: to try to reach towards that bare, inner self as far as humanly possible.

Feeling like I'm one step on my way towards a more spiritual and fulfilling future, slowly searching my way forward, but the other foot gets constantly distracted and is somehow still stuck in the past, fighting to get things done, to work, to maintain what is needed to be held up. Things are definitely happening within, but it's frustrating that I can't take those reflections to the next level before we're out of here, before we have finished what we've started, when work has slowed down a bit. Longing so much for the time when we're far away from possibilities and opportunities to do other than just be, when there is only Alex and me and at least for a while: no work, no plans, no schedule. I even long for the time when I can take a pause from blogging for an extended period of time to see how it really feels to be completely disconnected. But for the time being there are so many things happening, so much work and great projects that are in the starting process and which are good to consider for the future that I/we just need to keep it all running.

We're still struggling to find that comfortable, ideal balance in life, it certainly doesn't come over night even though you left everything behind to start something of a new life. My mind is currently moving two steps forward, one and a half step back, just like I said the other day, so I better keep my energy for what is our main priority of the moment: work. I wonder if I will miss these active days of jobs and projects when we are stuck on one tiny, deserted island in the Pacific Ocean. Most probably. Because as much as I believe that it is possible to find some sort of fulfilling balance, I know for sure that we human beings are constructed in a way that we will never be completely and utterly satisfied, at least not for a longer period of time. My daily meditation is for me a new psychological tool which is well needed in these times when floating in between the worldly/physical/practical world and the one that is mental/spiritual.