So hungover today. Not been drinking much lately, except for water, tea and healthy smoothies and juices, so I though it could be a genius idea to get properly wasted after the photo shoot, to kind of reward myself for being off the bottle and the carbs for a pretty long period of time. The ones of you who know me know that I normally carry a very extreme personality, which means I'll go all in or I do nothing, but it appears to me that this is slowly changing, at least in this certain aspect. Having spent three years with a person who drinks about two drinks annually, I have been forced to slow down. It simply isn't that fun to get drunk by yourself, you need your maddest friends for that, and being an ocean away from them, I have 50% involuntary and 50% voluntary cut down, drastically, on my alcohol intake since I first met Alex. Many times it has been hard for me. Imagine being used to going out five, six times per week, if not for a complete weekend of no sleep and non stop celebration, but at least a late dinner and a few bottles of wine with friends almost every night. 

Many times during this sailing journey I have missed that life so very much, tried to recreate the vibes over here in different ways but it just ain't happening as the scene is different, my friends are not here and yea, Alex doesn't fancy nightlife too much. It was challenging to adapt in the beginning of our journey, though I have slowly got used to it and also realized the many benefits of being cut off from my extremely sociable, wine oozing type of lifestyle. 

We've debated the good psychological as well as physical effects of being away from the normality before, also discussed the benefits of being in better peace with yourself when eating healthy and drinking less. But what I concluded today, when I woke up feeling completely smashed as a result of drinking a bottle of wine and smoking half a pack of cigarettes, is that what I initially tried to convince myself was a "reward", turned during the night into a sort of self-punishment. We all know that one get hangover from drinking wine, and we also know that sometimes it's very well worth the risk of wasting a complete day for the sake of having fun the night before. But since I have so clearly seen the positive effect of drinking less, it felt oddly stupid to wake up today with the headache of the year, finding a puffy face in the mirror, a few extra zits on my cheeks, one extra kilo of fat around my belly and realize that today would be an absolutely useless day.

Instead of my daily yoga and exercise, I would be doomed to eat burger king in bed with the laptop on my stomach, spending eight hours in front of Facebook, stalking people I never met and downloading totally nonsense series online. I am not here to tell you it is wrong to drink, you know me well enough already to know that I love to sway away from time to time, but what I'm saying is that it really makes a big difference. Everyone, including me, knows it's healthier to drink less rather than more, but it's not before now, when I have tested myself and been on the other side, that I truthfully know and feel the positive side of staying sober.

Have a look at how my body used to look, on this image from 2008:

On a weekly basis, I get emails and comments from women who wish to learn my secret to be as fit as I am, and this is the simple truth. I drink oceans less than what I used to. I know that some of you, maybe even most of you, think that "what the fuck, a glass or two of wine or even a bottle every now and then is fine" and of course it is, but do not expect to have perfectly flat abs with that type of mentality. As much as I love to treat myself to a proper drunkenness or at least the indulgence of devouring a couple glasses of red from time to time, it somehow doesn't appeal to me as much as it used to. There simply are too many disadvantages. Would probably be ok if I'd only get headache, or only got a bit bloated for a few days. But I cannot persuade myself to think that it is alright with all the side affects at once. Tired, puffy, headache, another day wasted, chubbier, bad mood, bad skin, disconnection to the spirit, prone to make bad decisions, feelings of guilt and so forth.

What I think I'm trying to say to myself here is probably that I finally have learnt the tricky art of moderation. Not completely I must admit as we can judge from last night, but it's under progress. And any morning that I can wake up full of energy and with a fresh, clear mind rather than a soggy one, is one more day to spend on all those important and fun projects that we have in life. Be it relationships with ourselves or with others, a new work assignment or an important essay, a creative project, a better body or whatever it might be that is important to you. How I love getting older, it seems as simple things that we simply couldn't comprehend when we were younger, suddenly appears as the most common things of all. And who knew ones body could be double as beautiful and fit at 30 compared to when 25? It's all connected, of course.