Dreaming of past and future, in between sea and sky. wishing i could live parts of my life again and again, sometimes just like they were once done, others in ways more refined.
This extended time far off civilization with hours and hours of inner contemplations, tremendously many moments of silence and peacefulness above the ordinary has been like being on a two year long therapy call. I've cried and I've laughed about the realizations I've made about myself and even though it's been hard, still is pretty often, I am closer to myself than what I've ever been before. I have realized so many things about myself. I've been forced to deal with and open my eyes to the things about my life and my person that aren't that attractive. There are things that I regret that I haven't done and taken care of and there are those things that I've done but not as complete or proper as I should've. It's easy to blame oneself for things that we normally call mistakes, and only that, to be able to look myself in the mirror and dare to say that I've made mistakes, are, if not pleasant, at least a healthy feature on my personal development.
Having been the type of person who's always been on the run, rapidly moving forward without looking back, I've shifted life, place, home, relationships faster than anyone would get the chance to pronounce the word mundanity, it is now stimulating, and quite interesting to see that I've taken a step back. I let the world pass before my eyes instead of trying to keep up with its rapid movement. This enforced therapy has pushed me to go back in time to try to find some sort of peace with my past and the person that I've always ran away from. I used to think and claim that I was just like this or that, because I was born that way. Today I know I'm not perfect, have never been, and that with more understanding about myself, I could have done things way more proper than what I've sometimes done. My past and my life has shaped me like everyone else. Disappointments in life have made me strong, independent, free, open minded. But they have also made me treat people that I've cared about in ways that I regret. I've also had very much time to reflect upon all those things that I've earlier taken for granted. And during these two years on the boat, I've encountered many situations mental and physical, all in between bittersweet life and unfair death, that have reminded me of the fact that nothing is forever, not everything will always be there when we've had our backs to it for an extended time and that nothing, nothing should ever be taken for granted.
Before I grew up (meaning before I turned thirty, although I still have a long way to go), I've always said to myself: I want to live a life regretting nothing. Even the things that weren't that good at the time, I always looked upon them as that they were a natural development, that c'est la vie, shit happens, that's the way world functions. Today I look back and I can admit to myself that certain things were in fact really bad decisions, I know I did those things as it felt right at that specific moment, but if I would have known myself better, if I would't stubbornly, aggressively, spontaneously and repeatedly insisted on running forward, I could have saved myself and others from pain. Pain on others that indirectly have hurt myself just as much.
To really get to know oneself, I mean in a deeper extent than what I earlier thought was to be self knowing, is probably the hardest journey I've done in my life. No physical travel around the world can ever measure up with the ups and downs and hours of circling around in an endless roundabout that it is to come closer to who you really are. Smallest of details can profoundly change the direction of your life, but despite the pain of the realizations, this journey far from everything expect myself has changed my life more than anything I've ever gone through in the past. I wish to believe it is for the better.
If any of you would ever want to get to know yourself a bit more deeply, try night sailing alone (possibly meaning your partner is sleeping and you're on watch). No other sound than the wind and the waves are there to give you company, no other shades than black and occasionally some whitecaps surrounds you and believe me your mind will spin away to places you've never been before. I've developed a love and hate relationship for night watches/solo sailing, I love it as it opens your mind and makes you think, hate it for just the same reason.
Åh, vad du är gullig! Bra text. Var glad att du är en människa som känner och klarar av att reflektera. Det är bra, annars är det så lätt så lätt att åren går men själen underutvecklats, å så står man där som en bitter vuxenbebis. Det är inte bra. <3
Night sailing alone 50 miles off shore changed my life forever. I find it hard now to do anything else than to prepare myself and my boat to do it for the rest of my life.
i absolutely love this post, Taru - the journey through "self" is always the hardest yet most rewarding one - one that goes on for a lifetime...thanks for sharing yours with us.
wow,,beautiful bit of writting,,it takes a huge amount of courage to be honest in public, thank you . It took me years to work out why night watches are so attractive to me,,,just love them .I wish for your journeys never to end .I wonder if Hesse ever did night watches ??,, i know he walked the Alps on his own . cheers 'different drum '
Thank you so so so much for sharing these words! You're my inspiration and your words almost made me cry;) I totally agree with your text, with all of it!
You seem to be such an incredible person <3 I wish you all the best and keep inspiring us with your beautiful words and photographs.
We haven't tried night sailing yet, but we're looking forward to it! The famous saying, "Take time to smell the roses" ... it's so true!
We all make mistakes, but as long as we learn and grow from them ... we become better people.
We can't wait to experience the joy of cruising and I'm sure we'll continue to learn a lot about ourselves ... hope I don't turn out to be a wuss .. LOL!
Now jour talking! And to be honest, I like it! I hope you will have many off these talks to us. But remember to be honest to yourself, its not the sea that will do this, the sea is only the comfort to look inside. A Joke, get your but out to the sea en sail to where ever yoy want to go.
Words Taru! Eventhough I haven´t done your night sailing, I´ve done a similar and deep soul-searching journey during the past years. Oh my,it´s not beautiful, nor pleasent to see yourself in that mirror! Thank you for sharing - the text really touched me! I´ve followed your blog for years - and I must say you truly rule the blog-kingdom Taru!;-) xx/Ulrika
Well written Taru and obviously well thought out too. The long nights on watch have afforded you the opportunity to reflect and assess your life journey this far. Just think you're still less than 1/3rd of the way through your life and it's good to reflect on things up to now, to "arrange" feelings, memories and experiences before the next stage begins. Just think there are some people who live in the rat race (and may have no choice as they see it but to do so) who will never have this opportunity, they will be like that until their retirement and perhaps within 3-5 years they will be gone, without ever attaining their personal goals and possessing a confusing mixture of memories, which they may then chose to "file away" and tell themselves they only want to live for "today". Theirs would be a much richer quality of life if they could take time out to reflect and contemplate as it makes one a more complete and self aware individual. I'm finding that at the moment, slowly but surely, sadly not at the helm of a treasured vessel.
Red said... "Just think you're still less than 1/3rd of the way through your life"
The fact is, that none of us knows how far through our life we are or how much we have left which underscores the importance of living every moment as if it were your last. You are certainly doing that.
Deb S/V Kintala www.theretirementproject.blogspot.com
Thank you everyone for interacting.. I appreciate it very much.
Yea I think Hesse did quite some soul searching in the Alps, I think you can feel almost equally small in the world by walking alone between low valleys and high mountains. Must give you interesting perspectives on life.
Taru, You seem to be accepting realizations and experiences in life graciously from this post. Wishing there were no regrets but accepting them to learn and grow wiser.
Also such a beautiful description of the feeling of night watches. 2-6 watch is so nice if wind and weather is consistent (with changing weather and sails not so much.)
these posts are one of the reasons that I keep following your blog year in year out. it is so personal, intimate and above all an eye opener. I have not reached 20 years yet, and I am so glad that I can take advantage of these posts, right on this time. I have a long and exciting time ahead of me where I can get to know myself and develop myself in order to achieve satisfaction with, and in myself. so to you I am full of gratitude, for sharing what is yet to be discovered by many people, also those who are way above your age.
Hello Taru, I just discovered this feeling of night solitude. I used to hate night sailing in south seas, with cold mad winds and waves, but now that we are going north in Brazilian Coast I can see more stars, new constellations, nice winds, whales... Very beautiful your words.