I wonder if in ten years from now we'll still be working on perfecting details on the boat. Building, repairing and thinking out new ways to make a compromised life a little more comfortable, more efficient. More homey. With less, smarter and quicker arguments. A smoother work flow. Would work pretty fine for me, for Alex too I believe. As long as progress is evident. As long as it's all improving. Little by little.

It's curious the way things in life turn out. 

It sometimes hits me; how did we end up on this road? And however tedious and challenging it might be at times; how could I ever want anything different? 

I can only imagine but it seems that living a life like we do (4,5 years on the boat now). In which we've made an active choice to live on water. In ten times less living area than most people we know. Despite the lack of space and all the comforts most people require in life. With sleepless nights riding through storms at sea. I can imagine it to be a bit like giving birth and raising children. Or like running and maintaining a larger farm. 

You know your choice of lifestyle will mean massive amount of work, both physical and mental. It will drain you and put your patience to test. There will be frustrating moments when you ask yourself whatever the hell am I doing this for. There will be mornings you rather stay in bed all day and pretend you had chosen an easier path. Nights when you want to hammer yourself near unconscious just to forget, for a little while, the hardships you've voluntarily have thrown upon your shoulders.

It will come times when you look back in the rearview mirror. And for a brief moment you will be absolutely certain that life was better, easier, more meaningful when you were twenty something with no worries at all.

You will remember people, places, friendships, relationships and it will momentarily appear as if "that was the time of my life!". You will fool yourself to believe that even the most fleeting moments of past had offered more substance and meaning than the tiresome reality of today.

But then comes next day. With moments of enlightenment and higher spirits.

When things feels just so right.

And deep inside you'll know that you wouldn't change it for anything. You'll realize, again. And again. That it's all for something greater. As the rewards of all your combined efforts and all the pain you've gone through and will continue to face gives meaning and true fulfillment to your existence.

It taught you what one important source of true happiness is. What love, sacrifice and devotion means.

Isn't that the meaning of life, after all? To find that one thing that makes you burn and then slowly let it kill you.